The Coaching Show is a weekly podcast hosted by Master Certified Coach Christopher D. McAuliffe. Whether you’re a veteran of the coaching industry with your own practice, new to professional coaching or are just considering entering the field, TCS is the perfect show to educate and entertain you. Christopher’s guests over the last 10 seasons have ranged from fledgling private practice life coaches to board members at ICF International, and have covered every corner of the business.

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Episode 1031: It’s Not A Communication Problem

December 12, 2019

Episode Summary

People come to me saying that their #1 problem at work or at home is communication. I have to tell them that they're wrong. The #1 problem in your relationships is competition and that's why there's a breakdown in communication. When there's competition within a team, between boss and employee, between coworkers or in your love life you end up with individuals who don't want to take risks so creativity, problem-solving and communication all hit a wall.

I'm going to teach your listeners who to shift the paradigm to one of a shared battery (at work nothing is divided equally, especially by time and at home it's not your turn to put away the dishes). These scenarios put people on opposite teams where someone is going to win and someone is going to lose. That means if you get more of something, I'm going to end up with less - you can't have a "winning team" with that type of mindset.

Most of this happens at the unconscious level (our conscious brains process information at a rate of 50 bits per second, while our unconscious brains process information at a rate of 11 million bits per second - that's not a typo! So, people don't hear what you say, they hear what you mean; and this is where communication really breaks down. I'll teach your listeners how to align their words with their meaning so they can stop competing and start connecting and communicating. (This involves training your attention and setting intention)

Guest 1: Dr. Abby Medcalf

Show Notes

  • Alex shares his transcendental experience from over the weekend
  • Competition is keeping us from communitcation
  • Collaborate don’t compete / set you intentions 
  • R.A.S. and how it shows up
  • How to give during the holidays?
  • How to deal with sadness during the holidays?
  • Who are Abby’s role models?
  • What can you create with your partner that is new?
  • How do you create with a partner that you have been with for a while?
  • How to practice acceptance?

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